Eternal Hearts (Incurable Hearts 2) Page 4

  Once I was accomplished career wise I tried to get you back but because you had been adopted I wasn’t allowed to try, that is why I never told your father about you because he wouldn’t have been able to do anything about it until you were old enough. He is a good man and if I knew back then what I know about him now, he would have been and still would be a great father to you. I truly hope you do try to find him. He will be angry with me for not telling him but I know he will love you. His mother, Fiona Jenson is a wonderful woman and will adore you, I’m sure of it. His brother Alex Jenson is younger than your father and at the moment he is in a relationship with Natalie Harrison and she is pregnant with their first child. The other two people in my life are Henry Robinson, he has worked for me for years but over time he became like a father to me, if you ever need help for anything this is the man to find, he will do anything for you in my place. And there is Rose, again she has worked for me for years. I hope you meet them all, they are my only family and I love them all very much.

  You might have a wonderful life and won’t need the help I can and will offer, which is what I wished for when you were adopted but if you accept, I can offer you a life beyond anything you could think of. Reading this means my lawyer Mr Jones has contacted you, I hope he explains everything to your understanding.

  You might not believe me but I have loved you every day since we parted and I regret so much I’ll not be able to meet you and for that I will never forgive myself.

  The only two people on this earth I have ever truly loved are you and your father. Even if you are angry with me, please if you want to, find your father.

  All my love,

  Jasmine Jenson nee Collins

  Xxx

  I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t believe I was sitting here reading Jasmine’s words about a part of her life, a big part, that she never she told me about, a life I have been connected to for the last sixteen years. A life she should have told me about.

  Once again Jas didn’t just keep a minor secret from me. She may have kept her disease from me in the beginning but she did eventually tell me. However, she spent every day with me for five months looking me in the eye, sleeping with me in the same bed, spending time with my family all the while purposely not telling me I had a daughter. We had a daughter.

  Suddenly thinking of a conversation we had on our honeymoon, I remembered we spoke about a ‘what if’ future and us having children. We even gave them names, and Ava was not one of them but then why would it be? We already had a daughter named Ava.

  As much as I couldn’t believe this was happening right now, I did believe Jas was telling the truth. Saying that, it would be ludicrous not to get a DNA test done. Not just for my sake but for Ava too, she doesn’t have a mother, it is only fair to the girl to know for sure who her father is.

  Part of me wanted this, a part of Jas still around with me but the other part was angry and confused, making the plan I was beginning to form easier to carry out.

  Ava and my mother were still sitting on the sofa where I left them to read the letter. Henry was nowhere to be seen. What I had to say concerned him as well so he needed to be here, I sat on the chair facing the both of them.

  “Did you read it?” mum asked, quietly.

  I nodded unable to look at Ava, it really was like looking at Jas. Although I couldn’t look at her I noticed my mum couldn’t take her eyes off of her. This was so fucked up. Henry walked back in and remained by the door. I stood, cleared my throat and began talking.

  “I read the letter and while I don’t disbelieve Jas’s words, I would still like to know for sure” I started, “There is no doubt you are Jasmine’s daughter and because of that I would like it if you would let Henry drive you back to the hotel. I would offer for you to stay here but I don’t think that is wise until we know for sure I am your father”

  “Sounds fair,” she said quietly with a hint of sadness, maybe?

  “I don’t want to sound like I don’t want you here, but if you turn out not to be my daughter I don’t think I would be able to cope again. I have only just got myself back on my feet after losing your mother” I explained, wanting her to fully understand what I was thinking.

  “I don’t like the idea of her staying on her own at the hotel Chris, why don’t she come and stay with Henry and I?” mum asked.

  I could see the begging in her eyes for me to agree. Although I didn’t want her getting too attached to this girl, I didn’t want Ava on her own either. She was so young, all I knew was I couldn’t have her here until the results confirmed Jas’s words.

  Ava looked up, she didn’t look too worried about the proposition.

  “It is Ava’s decision,” I said, sitting down on the chair opposite them.

  “I would like that” she smiled.

  My chest ached, her smile was the same as her mothers.

  “I know this is messed up and me being here brings memories back to life for you but I hope you understand I need to know where I come from. Put the pieces of the life I should have had together, so I can move forward myself,” she said directly to me.

  My head was scrambled, I couldn’t think straight but I didn’t want her thinking she was a problem to me. I crossed the distance between us and knelt before her so she could see my honesty.

  “I completely understand, we all need to know the truth and when we get that everything will move forward in a positive direction but until then, it is more simple for the both of us if we don’t get too attached in case the outcome is not what we have been told”

  “That makes sense,” she agreed.

  “We should get moving then. I will make the necessary arrangements first thing in the morning and get this matter resolved as soon as possible,” Henry said, standing to leave.

  “Thank you Henry, are you going to be alright Ava?” I asked her.

  “Yes”

  Everyone stood to leave, my mother was satisfied, and I knew she would be waiting to leave so she can ask her a million questions. I had to keep reminding myself Ava could be her granddaughter and she had every right to.

  Henry led mum out to the kitchen to get her things while Ava hung back with me.

  “Are you sure you are going to be okay?” I asked again, she looked nervous and scared and I didn’t want her too.

  “Yeah, it’s…I’m more worried in case you’re not my father, it means I have to start my search all over again” she admitted.

  As she said the words I felt something in me change, I realised I wanted her to be my daughter, I wanted Jas to be telling the truth.

  “Don’t worry about anything, if the worst is confirmed, we will help you. You won’t be on your own,” I offered and she relaxed a little.

  After they left I returned to the living room closing the door behind me. Tonight has been unreal, going home with my mum could be my daughter. Not just with some random woman either but with Jasmine. I never would have of thought any of this could be possible but just like when she was alive, she never ceased to shock me.

  I realised I was still holding Ava’s letter in my hand, I re-read her words again like she had come back somehow.

  Most of the time it was difficult to try and understand how Jas would think about things or how she would act in certain situations. She writes in the letter she didn’t tell me because there wasn’t any point, as I couldn’t meet Ava until she was old enough to make her own decisions, but she could have given me some warning. If she had told me I could have been prepared for tonight. Maybe even searched for her myself just to see what she was like. All the answers to my questions I would never know now, as the one person who could answer them was no longer alive. I reached out and took hold of the vase that stood on the small table next to the sofa, I went to throw it against the wall but stilled at the last moment. There was no point in venting my anger this way anymore, there wasn’t any good to come from it. I remember smashing my old kitchen to pieces the last time Jas revealed a big secret she had kept hidden from m
e, but that didn’t help, she still died.

  I don’t know which one is bigger, her death or our daughter she never told me about? I always knew there was a reason she left the estate and that it wasn’t just down to Leigh and what he tried to do to her.

  As I placed the vase back in its place Alex came back in, he looked stressed and a lot more sober than the last time I saw him tonight.

  “They have gone then?” he said, slumping down beside me.

  “Yeah, she has gone back with Henry and mum”

  “You believe her, don’t you?” he asked.

  “She is definitely Jas’s daughter, you can’t deny that. As far as her being mine, Henry is going to arrange the necessary tests first thing tomorrow”

  “I thought you were making progress getting over Jas, now you have the same look that has haunted you for the last three years. Even from her grave she still has some sort of hold over you. Some kid turns up claiming you’re her father because it says so in a letter from a dead woman and you all pander to her. She is mugging you off, if you were her father Jasmine would have told you about her when she was alive” he said, standing up.

  I stood myself coming face to face with my little brother, he got away with a lot with me but when it concerned Jas, there was nothing anyone could say about her, not even Alex.

  “Don’t talk about her like that, after everything she did for you and Nat, she never treated you like this” I reminded him.

  There was no doubt he was looking out for me but he knew what happened with us, he knew Jas didn’t find it easy to share her life. Did it frustrate me, did she make me so angry I could have physically hurt something…hell yes it did, but she was who she was, she admitted herself she didn’t have enough time to change her ways.

  “I’m sorry, I hate seeing you like this and with this girl turning up your going back to square one,” he said.

  “How do you know that? I have had a shock tonight, that’s all. Did you think maybe I might want this, I could have Jas back?” I shouted trying to get my point across.

  “She isn’t Jas!” he shouted back.

  His words knocked me over.

  “I know but she is part of Jas and a part of me. We have shared something all these years, she isn’t around now but I can get to know Ava, I can get to know my daughter”

  He backed away slowly and sat on the chair, after a minute I joined him and started again.

  “From the start I knew she would be in my life forever, when she died she was always with me. No matter how many smiles you saw or each time you heard me laugh, without her it has never meant anything. I have a chance to be happy again”

  I was took back to my letter from Jas, it kept me awake for months after her death, wondering how she knew I would be happy again, she was adamant I would be and now after all this time, I figured it out. She knew Ava would come looking for me and I would find out the truth. This was her way of being with me for my forever.

  “I’m always here for you brother, always” he said relenting.

  I took the beer he held out to me and took a deep swig.

  “Here’s to the next Jenson-Collins adventure” I toasted.

  “Never a dull moment with Jas” he muttered.

  Fiona…

  “Is she okay?” Henry asked when I joined him in the living room.

  Ava was tired when we got back, she asked if she could go straight to bed, I think she had been through enough tonight and wanted to be alone. I settled her into one of the spare bedrooms and left her in peace although I wanted to ask so many questions but I refrained. God knows how?

  “She seems fine. How about you? You have had quite a shock tonight” I said sitting on the sofa. Finally taking the weight of tonight’s revelations off my feet.

  “I’m fine, she just took me by surprise. I wasn’t expecting her to look so much like Jasmine,” he said sitting beside me. The way he said it triggered my suspicions.

  “Hang on, did you know about Ava before tonight?”

  “Not exactly. After Jasmine’s death when Rose and I were going through her things, we came across a photograph of her holding a baby in a pink blanket on a hospital bed…she looked around sixteen or seventeen years old” he admitted.

  “Why didn’t you say something?”

  I felt angry but I had no right to be angry with Henry, how could he have known?

  “What would I have said? We didn’t know for sure she was Jasmine’s, let alone Chris’s, we could only assume what happened. You know how Jasmine was, she wasn’t one for telling her secrets even to those she loved,” he said.

  “I suppose” I said dejectedly, “How can this be happening? Chris is only now getting himself back on some sort of level he can live day to day, what happens if she isn’t his daughter, actually what happens when it is confirmed she is his daughter?” I asked, hoping Henry had the answers.

  “I don’t know darling, we were there for each other then and we will be now. We will get through this together,” he said, putting his arms around me.

  I love him so much. All the years I thought I was happy because I had a man in my life, I didn’t realise how different it was to actually have a man by my side, I know Henry loves me as much as I love him. When he proposed it took me less than a nanosecond to say yes.

  All the heartbreak and grief we all have endured after Jasmine’s death, I understood Chris’s need to be a part of her life regardless of the pain he knew he was going to face, for me, meeting Jas and welcoming her into our family bought me Henry. It’s true, we all helped each other through the grief and whatever we face now regarding Ava, we will be there for one another again.

  “Of course we will, it’s strange though, all that time she was with us and she never said anything, not even on her death bed”

  “Don’t, whatever Jasmine should have said or done can never be fixed, so let’s get on with it”

  Three years on and he still couldn’t speak freely about Jasmine, he was like a father to her and he grieved for her as he was.

  It’s what linked him and Chris now, they both understand each other because the focus woman in their life was her, but obviously in different ways. I have never known before for someone to be so alive three years after their death.

  “Why don’t we get some sleep, be ready for the next few days?” I suggested.

  “You go on up, and I’ll join you in a few moments” he said, making his way to the drinks cabinet.

  I knew this was his ritual whenever Jasmine was bought up, he needed to gather his thoughts by himself. I didn’t like seeing him hurt like this, knowing I can’t do anything to make him feel better, but I gave him the time and privacy he needed.

  It wasn’t long before he joined me and wrapped his arms around me.

  “I miss her,” he whispered.

  “I know, we all do”

  Neither of us were ones to sleep late into the morning. For a brief amount of time I forgot what happened last night and that maybe I have a granddaughter sleeping in the next bedroom. Nothing my boys have done over the years has ever made me feel like I don’t want the day to begin. I believed Jasmine when she told Ava Chris is her father but with bombshells Jas drops, destruction normally follows. Destruction everyone but Jas has to deal with. I worry now for Chris, he has no clue as to how to be a father, especially to a sixteen-year-old girl. I understand his anticipation and fears of spending time with her before the results come back, however, now I have to look out for her without getting too attached myself. I would never forgive myself if she is confirmed to be my granddaughter and I made her feel unwelcome in the beginning so I will brave it out.

  I didn’t have any concrete plans today so I could spend it getting to know Ava whilst trying not to get too emotionally involved.

  Henry was preparing breakfast when I eventually made my way downstairs.

  “Has Ava been down yet?” I asked, noticing she wasn’t around.

  “Yes. She is upstairs getting dressed. I offered f
or her to stay here, if she turns out not to be Chris’s daughter she still is Jasmine’s, so I’ll help her and keep her safe”

  He wasn’t asking my permission, he was telling me. I didn’t argue because I agreed but then again I worried Chris would become attached regardless of the results just because she is Jasmine’s daughter.

  I heard her before I saw her.

  “Good morning” she said shyly from the doorway.

  “Good morning, how are you this morning?” I asked, turning around to see her.

  “I’m fine, I was wondering if you could take me back to the hotel so I can pick my things up?”

  “Of course, after breakfast I’ll drive you myself” Henry offered, placing our breakfast plates in front of us.

  “Thank you”

  “So, Ava, who do you have back in London?” I asked.

  “My aunt and my two cousins”

  “Won’t she be worried about you being away from home?”

  The thought of her staying at the hotel last night on her own, at her age was daunting enough after meeting her for a couple of hours, let alone raising her all those years.

  “She knows I can look after myself, she trusts I’ll be responsible. She did ask that if everything went well and I stayed, she would like one of you to call her yourself”

  “I would be happy to. Am I to tell her you are staying then?” I asked to make sure we were both clear on her intentions.

  “Yes, she just wants to make sure I’m safe” she smiled.

  Her voice was soft and timid, making her come across fragile, but I could tell she had the same fire and strength in her as Jasmine. She was definitely brave enough to turn up to a house full of people she didn’t know and shock us all into silence.

  After breakfast, Henry and Ava left for the hotel. She had left me her aunt’s contact number. All of a sudden my stomach tightened, I was nervous. None of us knew if her aunt had agreed with her finding her biological family or if she hoped Ava failed and returned back to the family who raised and loved her.